If I knew then what I know now...

If I had been completely armed with the knowledge I have now about birth, I probably would have done some things differently with each of my births. However, I am thankful for each of those births as they provided me with more motivation to learn more about what could have been done, other than what was done. I am so thankful to my mom for instilling in me that birth is a normal, natural thing and is to be treated as such. I think that really made me want to have my babies all naturally, to feel the adrenaline rush afterwards, to feel the endorphins during labor and well, to just feel and experience each aspect of birth.

I have always been really interested in anything to do with babies, and amazed at what our womanly bodies were created to do, and are able to do! The whole process of conceiving, nurturing and birthing a baby is so amazing! At my first pre-natal appointment with Matthew (with the second Dr) He said something that made me really think. He said that if left alone, most mothers can birth their babies on their own really well. (That idea is so lost in the obstetric world in the US right now. I loved him for saying that and backing up what I already knew.) If you look at most mammals, (No, I'm not directly implying that we are animals) you will see that they choose a place that is safe, warm and comfortable to birth their babies, often doing it alone, without support or interference. Personally, I'd sometimes rather to labor alone than to be bothered with people trying to talk to me and asking every few minutes how I'm doing, what's my pain level, do I want meds or do I feel the urge to push. With Kimberly I almost told everyone to just leave me alone and I'll call them if I needed help. While going through transition (all 20 minutes of it) I was bombarded with questions from the nurses, the Drs and (I do love him dearly) my husband. I was getting annoyed because I lost focus so often it was frustrating. I do feel that having a great support system which believes in you and your "plan" for your birth is vital in achieving that goal. I know you cannot really plan a birth as there are so many variables, but having a clear idea of what you would like your birth to be like is a great way to let your care giver and support system (whether that be just your husband or your husband and your mom, a doula, or other persons) know what you want done or not done. I had a birth plan written up for all my babies, and it was a good way to have the conversation about what is a standard procedure, what can be ignored, or how your provider does their thing. My birth plan was also what convinced me to switch doctors at 21 weeks. At my first appointment after switching doctors, we went over my plan in great detail, and it was so nice not to be laughed at for what I wanted. Instead I was given options for helping my plan be followed, and encouragement that what I wanted was not too much. It is so important to have someone who believes in your plan and will respect and fight for your wishes for you. You do not want to be fighting against hospital policies while in labor yourself. You need someone who knows what you want, and will stand up against hospital employees for you. I always had in my plan a "just in case" section for if a c-section would be necessary, my preferences for that situation. That helped my Dr know that I knew that things can happen and was prepared for that, and kept my dr comfortable enough to talk to me when something wasn't going quite the way they like. A prime example of that was with Caleb. He was not making progress coming down for a long time and the possibility of a c-section was mentioned. I was not happy that it had to even be mentioned as a possibility, but because I had done some reading, it didn't make me panic, and after that it made me try even harder to get Caleb out on my own.

As much as a well thought out birth plan can help, the most important thing to do is educate yourself. Research all your options, even if you think you know what you want. I really wish I had done more reading during my first pregnancy... more than just What to Expect. Now I honestly wish I hadn't even read that book. Yes, it was a little helpful, but it didn't give me the full spectrum of options that are out there. Everything had to be put by the dr for approval, and honestly, I'd like to see women given the birth process back to them. Teach pregnant women how to care for themselves during pregnancy in regards to which activities are ok, a healthy diet and moderate exercise. Give them the benefit of the doubt that they are not stupid and have to be told everything they can or can't do. Give them more options than "just do what the dr says because s/he knows best". God did not make us so stupid that we cannot decide for ourselves what is best for us. Research all "routine" tests and procedures and refuse the ones that you feel are not necessary. I had no ultrasounds with Caleb until I was over due. I will not have any with (Lord willing) my next pregnancies unless there is a medical indication that it might be beneficial. I do not personally think that the routine 20 week ultra sound is necessary. They do not help with better outcomes, and they are not proven to be completely safe either. FDA approved does not necessarily mean safe. It means that there is no proof that they are not harmful. There is a huge lack of studies and data on the safety of routine ultrasound scans. In fact, of all my pregnancies, I had the most with Lucas and he has the most problems with his ears and speech, which I feel may be linked to all the scans I had. (I was gestational diabetic and had routine scans every couple weeks to follow his growth. Because my GD was under control, they were definitely not necessary.) I did not have GD with Matthew and he was 2lb 2oz bigger than Lucas was, so did the scans help? I don't really think so. With Matthew I had 3 scans, and I totally regret the last one especially. I was 35 weeks pregnant and he was measuring 7lb 5oz and my doctor started getting a little nervous. I told him flat out I'm not scared to birth a big baby, as I had before and inducing early for big baby was not an option for me. I would not show up. The chances of the induction failing are higher (possibly resulting in an unnecessary c-section) and my baby could quite possibly not be ready to come yet (resulting in a possible NICU stay). I was not induced and I had no problems birthing a large baby. :)

Even the test for GD has it's flaws. I don't think I know any woman who fasts for an hour, drinks or eats 50mg worth of glucose and fasts another hour on a regular basis. Of course your body is going to react a little different to the over load of sugar. I think the test would be more accurate if you were testing a few times a day for a few days while the mom is eating and drinking as she normally would. That would be a better indicator of GD and she can alter her diet accordingly. To me it just makes more sense. Doesn't it?

Another test I question the benefits of is the group B strep. I understand why it's done, but I don't think that it's completely necessary for every pregnant woman to HAVE to have it done. The virus is known to come and go, and if you test positive, who's to say you still have it when you go into labor, and if you test negative, who's to say you don't have it when your baby is born? Doesn't quite make sense to me...

I guess I just hope that all moms do the research and make the decision based on what they feel is best for them and their baby. The areas I would encourage all moms to research are these:
Which health provider is going to help you have your best birth possible? Is an OB, or a family dr, or a midwife going to look out for your best interests and educate you as much as you would like? Are they going to push you to do things you don't feel are necessary, or are they going to listen to you, answer your questions truthfully and respect your wishes?

Which tests are absolutely necessary? Are the benefits out weighing any risks? What are the reasons for doing those tests, are they medically indicated?

For after the baby is born, I looked at all sides of these few issues. Circumcision. Why is it done so often, routinely without parents doing the research to find out if this cosmetic surgery is really necessary? In the US we have one of the highest rates of infant male circumcision. I personally don't agree with it and I'm happy that some insurance companies are actually not even covering this procedure anymore. In Canada there is a bill that's going through the government that, if passed, will outlaw all infant circumcision that is not due to a medical problem, which will protect little boys just as little girls are protected from female circumcision. I don't know that I agree with going to that extreme, but I do think a lot more information should be given to parents about the risks (which are many) and the benefits (which are so few, I don't even know if there are any) of circumcision. After doing the research, I am so thankful we left our precious boys intact. This is something that I have just begun the research on and the more I read, the more I want to see parents doing their own research. I have huge problems with parents doing it just because everyone else is, or just so their boys look like Daddy. If a parent does the research on BOTH sides of the issue and makes an informed decision, then fine. I can respect that. (And that goes with a lot of other things I have mentioned as well.) It really irritates me when people just go with the flow and don't think for themselves. There are so many resources out there that there really is no excuse to not do the studying, in my opinion.

Vaccinations. We do not vaccinate. We did have the first 3 boys vaccinated for DTAP, but not until they turned 2, and after again doing the leg work and finding more out, we have decided that we will not be doing those anymore either. Our kids have been really healthy for the most part and they are building their immune systems naturally, and we feel the risks way outweigh the benefits of routine vaccinations. In the US we give our kids more vaccines by the time they're 5 than any other country in the world. Again, if a truly informed decision is made, I can respect that. But do the research, read the ingredients of the vaccines, and educate yourself about the risks involved.

Those are the main issues I wanted to address, and would love to hear from my readers their thoughts. Please leave a message and if you want more information, I can give you some resources so you can do your own research. I guess I have just made my "crunchy mama" statement. lol Regular posts will commence with the next post. I just want to get word out that following the leader is not a game to be played when it comes to the choices we make for our kids.